104105, “Grand Master" (Aired as 104)
Aiden [walking up to DJ club]: I used to climb over the velvet rope at this place. Now I'm ducking under crime scene tape.
Mac: Witnesses?
Flack: Typical club death. Two hundred people inside, nobody saw nothin'.
Danny [to Stella]: You imagine droppin' 45 million for an apartment?
Jayden Prince, Friend of Victim: Somebody killed my twin, dawg!
Flack [gesturing to himself]: Detective.
Prince: You a Detective, right? Then detect!
Flack [with gritted teeth]: We're workin' as fast as we can.
Mac: Mr. Francais.
DJ: DJ Francais.
Mac: Mr. Francais. When you were done with your set, where did you go?
DJ Francais: What am I, under arrest?
Mac: Oui.
Hawkes: DJ Banner. Not often I get a celebrity on my slab. He's like the Michael Jordan of vinyl.
Mac: You should hear Aiden talk about this DJ world. You close your eyes, she sounds like Queen Latifah.
Hawkes: What d'you know about Queen Latifah?
Mac: It's my job to know a little something about everything.
[Stella is examining a blood sample]
Danny: That Angelina Jolie's?
Stella: Deborah Gale's. She couldn't swim.
Danny: She couldn't swim?! She had a pool in her living room.
[Stella walks up to find Danny placing phone in toaster oven]
Stella: Mmmm. Somethin' smells good.
[Danny and Stella are watching businessmen eat sushi off a woman's body]
Stella: Oh, that can't be sanitary.
Danny: Who cares if it's sanitary? I wanna see the menu.
Stella: You know, I heard about these naked sushi parties, but a restaurant?
[Beautiful Asian waitress walks by, Danny smiles at her]
Stella: You gonna be able to focus?
Danny: I'm all over it.
Kevin Vick: Damn, you fine. You eva wanna ditch dat blue fo dis black, I'll lay you down anytime.
Aiden: Oh, you wanna talk dirty? Believe me, I will cuff you.
Danny [to Stella]: 'The History of the Blowfish', by Stella Bonasera.
Danny: So he [sushi place proprietor]'s gettin' five hundred bucks for a twenty-five dollar piece of blowfish. God bless this city.
Mac: Whaddya making?
Hawkes: Ribs.
[Microwave beeps, Hawkes pulls out bowl containing vic's 11th rib]
Flack: George Thomas. Assault in the first degree. Aggravated assault in the second degree. Criminal possession of a weapon. I can go on. But I already read War and Peace.
Suspect: Look, I paid for my mistakes. And then some. Mr. Prince was nice enough to overlook my past and give me a job.
Flack: Well, forgive me if I allow your status as a multiple felon to color my opinion of you.
Flack [to suspect]: So if you needed to slip away--let's say for a smoke. . .to do some murder. . .you had other guys around to cover for you.
Flack [to suspect]: Last time I checked the weapon we confiscated didn't have cute little legs, walkin' around from toolbox to toolbox.
Danny: All right, so she [victim]'s workin' on sketches, takes a swim, dies and then goes back to work on her computer?
Perp: What, you got a foot fetish too?
Stella: Just take off your socks.
Danny: Here we are lookin' for the murderer at the table. . .
Stella: And here the murderer is the table. [To perp] Let's go.
Mac: Aiden?
Aiden: I'm on the toilet. Can you come here?
[Mac gets a funny look on his face and walks into the bathroom to find Aiden processing the toilet]
105102, "A Man A Mile" (Aired as 105)
[Danny is shining his flashlight over some tunnel rocks]
Mac: You bathaphobic?
Danny: I'm not anything-phobic. There's a few things that shake me up, and one of 'em is 700 feet of granite between me and daylight. I don't know how these guys work down here.
Mac: Same way we're going to. Rock by rock.
Suit: Mac!
Mac: Tom. Personal visit from the DA's office?
Danny: What happened, you get lost on your way to a press conference? Or ya just checkin' up on us?
Tom: I never check up on Mac.
Flack: You're tellin' me you guys are the only ones who dig tunnels in New York City?
Worker: If it's deeper than a grave in New York City, then the Sandhogs built it.
Hawkes: The adult human skeleton contains two hundred and six bones--about two hundred of which are broken on your vic.
Mac: Danny, your intuition is great--
Danny: But let's see what the evidence has to say first, right?
Mac: Right.
Danny: You're not gonna be satisfied until you figure those [x-rays] out, are ya?
Mac: No.
Flack: You're divorced. Wife's got an order of protection against you. 'Remain 500 feet away at all times, do not harass by phone, custodial changes must take place at the 1-11.' They let you take your kids outta the precinct, or do they set youse up in a cell?
Suspect: That's because of Pete!
Flack: The order of protection's against you. Not Pete Riggs.
Flack [to suspect]: Well, I guess that dent in your head only affects stuff you wanna forget.
Danny: If you can't find someone else on the inhaler. . . .
Mac: You find the inhaler on someone else.
Mac [to Danny]: When I put you as lead on a case I wanna make sure you're bringing me evidence. Not intuition.
106107, "Outside Man" (Aired as 106)
Danny [to EMTs]: Hey! Use gloves, okay?
Flack: Do us a favor, just be very careful with every piece of possible evidence that comes off these people, all right?
EMT: You got it.
[Mac picks amputated lower leg up off the ground]
Stella: Is it heavy?
Mac: Lower leg constitutes 15% of a person's body weight.
Stella: All we have to do is find the other 85%.
[Mac pulls back comforter on dead man to reveal no left leg on the body]
Mac: The other 85% of Frank Hertzberg.
Stella [looking in freezer]: What do we have here? A finger?! [to Mac] Okay! This place. . .gives a whole new meaning to the term 'chop shop.'
Stella: Why would a dead man keep a spare finger in his freezer?
Hawkes: Apart from not being attached to a person, there's nothing wrong with this finger.
Mac [to amputee]: You wanna tell us what your finger was doing in Frank Hertzberg's freezer?
Danny: I been meanin' to take my car into the shop.
Aiden: Two birds with one stone.
Danny: Let's do it.
Luis: My apartment, my shop--whatever, man.
Flack: I'll take that as informed consent.
Danny [to perp]: Listen to me! Criminals are like animals. They leave tracks. We find 'em.
Mac: I read your preliminary report. Good job, Danny. You're on the promotion grid.
Danny: I can't wrap my head around it, Mac. I mean, ya get up and go to work, you see the people that you know--you talk, you laugh. You're livin' your life and then suddenly, boom! It's just over. Just like that. And ya never even saw it comin'.
107108, “Rain” (Aired as 107)
Flack: Gotta wear a mask to a bank robbery. It's a rule.
Mac: You buyin' his story?
Flack: Nah, you know me--everybody's a suspect 'till you prove otherwise.
Flack: You believe him?
Danny: I do. But then there's the evidence.
Flack: Luther Willet? Detective Flack, Aiden Burn, crime scene investigator.
Suspect: Wow. Cops around here just get prettier every day.
Flack: Watch it.
Suspect: Oh, hey, don't get upset. Just got outta prison! You both look good to me.
Aiden: Maybe we should just take you in, Luther. You fit the description--bank robbery, kidnapping--what is that, Flack? 15, 20 years?
Suspect: You're from Brooklyn.
Flack: Come on, Luther. Who hates you enough to try to frame you for a bank robbery--you piss somebody off in prison?
Suspect: You got this whole thing all wrong, man.
Flack: Why don't you enlighten me.
Flack [talking about suspect]: His name's Kevin Moretti. He's got a rap sheet longer than I am tall, and he spent time in jail with our good friend Luther Willet.
Mac: What'd you get from his parole officer?
Flack: That he's been lookin' for him.
Mac: Chinatown to East Broadway. Long way to go.
Flack: 'Specially if you've been shot.
Stella [in response to sirens]: What the hell?!
Stella: What's with all the squad cars?!
Flack: Police terrorist response drill.
Stella: Right here, right now. Did you know about this?!
Flack [sarcastically]: They don't send out a memo. The point is, they're unannounced.
Suspect: I don't know anything about a baby.
Flack: Well, lemme tell ya what I know: you're lying.
109, “Three Generations Are Enough” (Aired as 108)
Flack: Suicide’s a sin, right?
Stella: It’s viewed as ‘an attempt against the dominion and right of ownership of the Creator’.
Flack: Where’d ya get that, the Catholic Encyclopedia?
Stella [looking up at church’s façade]: S’about five stories. Twenty meters, right?
Flack: Doesn’t look that bad.
Stella: Not from down here it doesn’t.
Stella [to Flack]: Suicide isn’t just a sin, it’s a statement—and I don’t see one here.
Stella: At least it [case] got me back into church. You still go?
Mac: Sometimes.
Stella: Seems whenever I do go the sermon’s always about forgiveness. Then I think about what we do.
Mac: Forgiveness isn’t part of our job.
Mac: Someone went to a lot of trouble to file these [serial numbers] off.
Aiden: I went to a lot of trouble to acid-etch ‘em back on!
Stella: Somehow, one cigarette has Trina’s DNA on it as well.
Suspect: I kissed her.
Flack: Now how does that thought process work? ‘There’s the mother of my child on the ground, dead. I should prob’ly call 911, but lemme get a little action first.’
Mac [finding $5000 bill fold]: I got the money!
Danny [finding another stack]: I got the money too.
Aiden [discovering a third stack]: I’m in!
Stella: I have two points of reference that are in common with Paul Strajevsky.
Flack: Yeah, you could prob’ly find two points of reference in common with my print too.
Mac: Every case has a trinity.
Danny: Victim, suspect, location.